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Does your roommate irritate you? Do you irritate her? Unluckily, the conflicts with roommates are a common thing in dorms which are very hard to handle. Nevertheless, the relationship you have built with your roommate should not be finished just because you have some problems. Be patient and try to find appropriate words to resolve the issue. However, remember it may happen that you will need to find another roommate.
Problems with Roommates
Roommates often have problems with each other. In some cases, each of those living in a room knows about these problems. However, sometimes one of the roommates does not even think there may be some conflicts between them. The situation is especially tense when both of you are in the room at the same time. Your roommate may do not even know how angry you are when he/she drinks the last glass of juice which you have bought. Before talking to your roommate, ensure you realize what irritates you.
Think What Frustrates You Most When You Are Having a Roommate Conflict
When you are having problems with the roommate, he/she may know it, too, or he/she may be clueless. Take some time in a place other than your room, and write down what really frustrates you. Is your roommate too noisy? Is he/she not respecting your stuff? Try to write down some examples so that it is much easier for you to handle the conflict.
Addressing the Issue
When the main issues are figured out, you should have a conversation with your roommate. It would be great if you set time for this conversation in advance. It is possible that your roommate knows that you should talk, so he or she might need several days to put his or her thoughts together as well and write down some new roommate rules.
If you do not feel comfortable talking to him/her directly, you may turn to your resident adviser for help. He/she is trained to help residents with problems that are related to living with roommates.
Speak Your Mind and Listen to Your Roommate
Tell your roommate about your feelings. However, do not attack him/her too much, even if you are very frustrated. Use the language that will not make your roommate defensive. Keep calm and say what you have to say in a constructive and respectful manner.
When you are done with your list of important points, listen to what your roommate has to say, too, without interrupting.
If you a resident adviser is facilitating the conversation, let him/her take the lead. If there are just two of you, address the things each of you has said in a way that will satisfy you both. The chances are that you both will not end up 100% happy, but that is what living with roommates is. Anyway, you will feel relieved and ready to move on after this conversation.
Therefore, here are basic steps for solving roommates’ conflicts:
- Write down main points.
- Address the issue.
- Talk to your roommate.